The Still Small Voice

When we are brought to our knees is often when we find God.

My faith journey has been long and complex, like most people’s by my age. What has been astounding about the past few years is the degree to which God has revealed Himself in radical ways. I don’t just mean inward comfort or resonant sermons—I mean I have had encounters with God.

Several years ago, I went to the park with my then two-year-old, feeling defeated amidst my separation and the unraveling of the life I thought I had. A woman I’d never met approached me and, without knowing anything about my circumstances, asked if she could pray for me.

As she gestured toward hundreds of caterpillars crawling across the grass, she said, “These are going to become butterflies.” She didn’t know how much I needed to hear that.

She prayed with insight that startled me, and when she looked into my eyes and said, “You are free.”

I had always said I didn’t believe in divorce. Making that decision was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I grieved it deeply, and in the midst of that grief, I longed to pray. I felt drawn to the ocean—a place that had marked eras of my life.

This time, I asked my younger brother if he’d go with me to the pier. He rarely agreed to something like that, especially on a weekend. But to my surprise, he said yes.

With my toddler in a stroller and a few flowers in hand, I planned to walk halfway out on the pier, say a quiet prayer, and toss the flowers into the sea. But my brother urged me to keep walking.

I was shocked when, at the end of the pier, I saw a red carpet and a live band playing worship music.

They weren’t normally there. They were traveling musicians who just happened to stop at that pier that night.

One of the young women asked if she could pray for me. I was stunned. This was no coincidence—it was a divine appointment. God knew my heartbreak. He knew I had come to let go.

The woman prayed for me, then said, “God gave me a vision of you soaring over the ocean. And you were smiling. And you were free.”

After she prayed, I dropped the flowers into the sea. I knew God was there. And that everything was going to be okay.

Things didn’t magically get easier in the days that followed. I was a newly single mom struggling financially, trying to self-publish in the margins of my life. I was exhausted. One day, I needed $330 to enroll my son in preschool. Days before the payment was due, I received a deposit from my self-publishing platform for exactly $330 and some change. God was no longer whispering; He was tangibly with me.

A verse echoed in my heart: “I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” I knew I needed spiritual community. I needed to re-engage with the church.

Soon after, I stopped at a coffee shop and saw a teacher from my church, someone who didn’t know me. Later that same day, he sent a group email, and I responded that I was interested in attending a meeting but was unsure if I could make it work as a single mom. He wrote back: “Praise God for your amazing maternal love.”

That one line nudged me back into community. I reached out to a church mentor who invited me to attend with her. I eventually joined the children’s ministry, and being with those precious kids grounded me. It reminded me what it means to live your faith with presence, patience, and joy.

My whole life, I had asked God for signs. Now, in the darkest season I had ever faced, He showed up again and again. Not just whispering, but rejoicing over me with singing.

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” — Zephaniah 3:17

When we are brought to our knees is often when we find God—and when we find peace and joy that truly transcends all human understanding.